Bort Flancrest and his tumblr of crap

“My favorite thing to do at McDonald’s is take the chicken from the sandwich, scrape the mayo and lettuce off (because I always forget to ask for a plain mcchicken) take the pickles off of the cheeseburger (to eat separately), make the bun and meat line up properly (because those little minimum wage bastards can’t take a few seconds to make the sandwich stack up right) and stick the chicken in between the two patties to make a Triple Chickenburger™” — Travis McMullen

“So I was frying up some Kirkwood brand nuggets today, in a skillet on the stove. I left them for a couple of seconds. Upon my return, I find that there are TWO dead flies curled up on ONE nugget. I was amazed. I picked them off with the tongs, and thought that this was a pretty effective way of killing flies. I should leave one nugget in there all day at low heat and see what happens. But, you are probably asking yourself: Did you then throw out that entire batch of nuggets, and the oil? Hell no. No damn bugs are going to keep me from enjoying tiny pieces of barely chicken. I tonnged them into the trash, and the nuggets continued to sizzle. My house is full of damn flies.”  

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Travis at age 18